Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Velma said "Jinkies!" It must be a clue!

I did Red Herring. From A Pup Named Scooby-Doo.

As a kid, I always found myself watching shows I fucking hated. Doug was the prototype for whiny emo kids in sweatervests. I watched that shit religiously, but most of the time I was just hoping for Roger Klotz to actually beat the shit out of Doug and totally impress Patti Mayonnaise. Rugrats was okay, except for Chuckie Finster and his dad. They were just miserable people.

Anyway, one of these fucking shows was A Pup Named Scooby Doo, which, if you haven't seen it, is the Scooby-Doo gang as kids, with a hip early-90s spin. Brighter colors, more skateboards, dance routines, and pizza. The show was basically like watching two retards having an insult contest. It sucked even worse than the original Scooby-Doo. At least it had really obvious drug references.

They also had Red Herring, who served no purpose in the show except to be a red herring, which he never really was. Fred would just always blame him for shit. He'd be like "I know who's been dressing up like an undead hockey player to drive business away from the water park! It was RED HERRING!"

And then Red Herring would jump out of the bushes or whatever and go "Yeah right, Freddy! Think again LOSER." Which I guess was supposed to prove his innocence, but it always made me wonder why the fuck was Red Herring, the town bully, sitting in the bushes behind Fred's house? That's just fucking creepy and weird.

So here's Red Herring. As I imagine he'd be in high school. Stealing his dad's booze and trying to score with 8th graders. Not having any real friends, but not needing them because of his totally sweet BMX bike (which actually wasn't that great.)

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